Last night I was watching “Shalom in the Home,” an excellent TV show on TLC where a rabbi goes into a family’s home to help improve their relationships with each other in order to bring more peace to their household. (Check out http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/shalom/shalom.html) Rabbi Schmuley is like Dr. Phil but much better, giving tangible advice on how to bring a peaceful happy home. He focuses on everything from improving the intimacy in a marriage to getting the best from hyperactive children. Last night the mother on the show had terrible self-esteem. It was so bad she nearly never stood up for herself to her children and husband. It reminded me of how so many women are, especially amongst the practicing Catholic community.

We work so hard to serve our families, but I think it may be a false humility to allow ourselves to get walked over by our families. True humility is to really know who you are as a human person, as wives, as mothers, and as children of God no more and no less. Humility is not allowing others to demean us or not give us our due. Look at Our Lady, for example, in John 2 where she is very vocal regarding the lack of wine and tells the servants, “Do whatever He tells you.” She does not just simply concede that there is no wine; she is assertive yet respectful. In our dealings and daily life, are you being an example for others on true humility?

Be a loving authority to your children. Are you assertive enough to require respect from your children and husband? One of the best lessons we can teach them is to give others the dignity and respect they to which they are entitled as a child of God. I know I have struggled with my son’s behavior. I have definitely had my share with him not listening to me, disobeying me, hitting, tantrums, etc. It wasn’t until I realized that letting him get away with that type of behavior was the root of the problem. Why did I let him get away with that? Because I didn’t have the self-worth, I wanted to be the nicest mom in the world and didn’t want to have a backbone and be tough. But that’s not true humility. Eventually with the assistance of my husband who is an excellent at demanding respect with our children, I was able to learn to be consistent in requiring my son to respect his mother.

Be a challenging partner to your husband. By this I don’t mean nag him or be difficult with him. I mean challenge him to be the man he should be. Remember your job is to get him to Heaven. So require him to be Christ to your family by being an active loving witness to you and your children. Don’t be afraid to require more of him in terms of respect. I think one of the temptations Satan uses with our men is that they are too busy to build us up as their wife. They are too busy working hard to be the bread winners, discipling the children, taking the kiddos to their sporting events, and such. But that is a lie from the Devil. Our husbands must make the time to support us wives in our efforts to be confident in this world that puts women down with birth control, abortions, pornography and the like.

So be truly humble by knowing yourself as a child of God, as a wife, as a mother, no more, no less.

God love you.

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